Black swim shorts are the one thing most men get wrong by overthinking. Too long and you look like you raided a teenager’s wardrobe. Too short and you’re making a statement nobody asked for. Cover yourself in branding and you’ve undone whatever else you’ve got going on. The right pair sits just above the knee, lies flat without bulk, and dries fast enough that you can go from the water to lunch without looking like you’ve had an accident. Black is the correct choice here because it works with everything, photographs well, and doesn’t show wear the way navy or olive eventually does. We’ve been specifically looking at shorts with a cleaner profile, minimal or no external branding, and a waistband that doesn’t dig in after two hours on a sun lounger. Nothing in here is trying to be a personality. These are swim shorts that do exactly what they should and look better for the restraint.